weddingsv make me drug and hornr
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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