Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
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