Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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