after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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