I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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