I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
