ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
