I'm lost and stupid without you.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
