Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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