Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i think i scared a bird with my dick
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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