Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
