No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
