With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
