after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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