I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
