people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
