But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
