Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
