the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
