PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
