I heard we made out
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
