i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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