it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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