Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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