i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
