dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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