Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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