who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
