I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
