the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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