Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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