Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
