the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
