Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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