In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
