Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
