all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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