My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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