....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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