I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
