Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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