I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I want to fling myself into the sun
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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