I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
