dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
