I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
