i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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