I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
