Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
