they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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