Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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