she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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