Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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