yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
