and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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