so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
